After we all arrived at the Casino, we departed for the starting point near the prison and near the Air Force compound on Monsanto.  Hares for the day were Depth Charge and Maple Stroker.  Since they both work at Monsanto, we knew we were in for trouble.  We weren’t wrong.

I would like to be able to say where we Hashed, but there is no way of knowing, as I suffered from heat stroke throughout the Hash.  Our illustrious Hash Master remarked that this was the slowest Hash ever recorded for LH3, and I am inclined to believe him.  I also think it was the first Hash that was uphill the entire route.

Approximately 6 runners finished the Rambo route, and approximately 22 walkers finished the Wimp route.  It is highly unlikely that anybody defiled the sanctity of the route, as there was not enough liquid to spare.

True Virgins were Liz Halkon, Lloyd and Yvonne Meister, and Lucilia Pereira.  We had a Newcomer to LH3 – her home hash is somewhere either in Switzerland or Canada.  Her Hash name is Tickle Me Under.  When asked as to the origin of her name, she only replied “it was a blond moment”.  Therefore, we were left to our imaginations.  Additionally, the heat had sapped some of us of our powers of memory.  Depth Charge, for one, continually forgot Tickle Me Under’s name, and was therefore required to make up the name.  Which he did frequently.  Few of his attempts can be published in this forum.

Retornados were Basil Fawlty, Also Ran, Eye Full, Paula Matos, Miss Kid Cracker, Back Cracker, Moonshine, and Kangi Amey.

Celebrating Hashy Birthdays were:  Basil Fawlty (20): Also Ran (55); Blooming Good (125); and Eye Full (15).

Celebrating a Very Special Hashy Birthday was Back Cracker, with 100 Hashes.  That’s  lot of down downs!

Celebrating a terrestrial birthday was Eye Full.  She only admitted to being as old as 21.

There were no No Names, but Kangi Amey (son of Eye Full) was up for his Naming.  Based on his penchant for pokemon characters, he desired something related.  Obviously, there was no way on earth we were going to give him a name he actually wanted.  In the end, the Circle was merciful, and christened him as Poke Moi.  In case you weren’t there, that’s French for ‘pokemon’.  Because he’s French.  And he likes pokemon.  I guess you had to be there.  In any event, it was interesting trying to explain his new name to him, as he doesn’t speak any English or Portuguese, and I don’t think any of us spoke any French.  Tickle Me Elmo purported to speak French, but still had a hard time explaining the name to the young man.

Misdemeanors were meted out to the following miscreants (or mistercreants, as the case may be):

Oval – use of telemovel

Good Jumper – for having come upon an amorous couple in the throes of passion during the Blazing Saddles / True Grit Hash.  Obviously, it’s not her fault the couple were engaged in their activities, but she was given a down-down for not having warned any of the other Wimps so that they could avoid the area at all costs.

La Formiga, Eye Full, This Won’t Hurt, and probably a few others – for not wearing Hash t-shirts.  They were, however, wearing other shirts.

Sunflower – for having a senior moment when he was trying to remember who Good Jumper was, and why he was calling her into the circle for a misdemeanor.

I think there were other misdemeanors, but I can’t remember them.

K2

Hash Scribe

Virgins were:  Hannah and Adrian Groves, and Susanna and Karl Nickel.

Retornados were:  Baron Von Arsen, Big Jumper, Guillerme and Martin Leclerc, Crunchy, Little Jumper, La Formiga, the Maples (Stroker and Sugar), and MissDirected.

Celebrating Hashy Birthdays were:  This Won’t Hurt (50 (Hashes, not years)), Honky Tonk Woman (45), Big Jumper (28), Good Jumper (25), Little Jumper (30), Marie Bylina (5), Crunchy (20), Detonator (11), MissDirected (15), and Depth Charge (125).  These numbers are completely inaccurate and bear only a slight resemblance to reality.

Marie Bylina, having completed her 5th Hash, was a No Name; at her next Hash, she will earn an appropriately inappropriate Hash Handle.  She made mention of an embarassing situation in her past when she left the ladies room with toilet paper stuck to her shoe.

Misdemeanors, some of which were appropriate, some of which were spurious and inappropriate were awarded to the following:

Acting RA – No Moor – for the slight breeze

Crunchy – for being too sexy for his shirt

Voldemort, K2, MissDirected – for topping up their beverages during the circle.

Thus ended the circle and began the AGPU.  Results of the AGPU:

Hash Meeting Point, from Hash 665 (7 August 2010), will be at the Hash Starting Point, at 1430.  For those stragglers, virgins, and misinformed Hashers, there will be a sweeper at the Casino at 1400, departing soon thereafter.  Hash Cash will be collected at the Starting Point, not at the Casino.  Hash Starting Point will be divulged via this website, and/or during the circle of the previous Hash.

Hash Mismanagement Committee:

Hash Master – Sunflower (yay)

Religious Advisor – Depth Charge (yay)

Hash Cash – Maple Sugar (YAY YAY YAY)

Hash Flash – This Won’t Hurt and Easy Goa (etc.)

Haberdashery – Party Pants

Pourers – BloomingGood, Ready Steady Stop, Meatballs

Beermeisters – Jumper family

Hash Geek – Bad Hare Day

Hash Scribe – K2, with occasional guest/ghost writers

Finally, the Blazing Saddles Hash will henceforth and forever be known as the True Grit Hash.