Both Wimps and Rambos ran through the old town of Cascais and then down to Largo Luis de Camoes passing through the Palm Tree where thirstier hashers stopped for a quick beer before continuing to and through Cascais Marina.  The trail then continued through Parque Marechal Carmona with the opportunity for another beer stop at the German Beer Garden before taking hashers to the Avenida Rei Umberto II de Italia (the seafront) all the way towards Casa da Guia.  The Wimps returned directly to the starting point while the Rambos ran to Torre after getting lost in Casa da Guia.  Passing Schloss Baron von Jockstrap, the rambos returned to the start point going south down Avenida do Rosario.  The hares proved their complete and absolute supremacy by finishing setting the trail about 30 minutes before the first hashers appeared.

The Acting Hash Master for the day, Depth Charge, started the circle by inviting himself and his co-hare Easy Loser into the circle for the traditional down down.  The Acting Religious Advisor Mismatch then welcomed the three virgins Bernadette Dambacher, Jennie Brault and Sandra Fasio (and many apologies for the probably appalling spelling of their names).

Twelve ritornados were Wesley Fever, Also Ran, Robert Scott, Picanha, Peeping Tom, Not in Charge, Little Peeper, Bo Peep, Depth Charge, Finnish Eater, Flying Mum and Pussy Galore (more about PG later).

For some strange reason, many of the Hash birthdays were 11: Lethal Weapon, 6-inch Rider, Finnish Eater, Pussy Galore and Finding Nemo—who had difficulty in finding the start let alone Nemo.  Other birthdays were F2RB (30), Blooming Good (161) and Bardess (440).  We also celebrated 6-inch Rider’s Terrestrial birthday.

Misdemeanours included Ba Ba Boom for looking too sexy in her red dress, Patricia Venture for peeing en route and Tatties for taking his skirt off in Cascais because he did not want his mates to see him as a budding transvestite.

No Names were Don Ross and Ulla Fiodlewska (again, apologies for the spelling):

As far as I recall, Don:

• Has a secret weapon.
• Is in the construction industry.
• Has a wife but no girlfriend or mistress.
• Was born in Kenya but has lived all over the world including Seychelles, Khartoum, Dubai, UK, Egypt for 20 years and finally Portugal.
• Is intending to be retarded in Portugal.
• Was not going to reveal any embarrassing moments.

Ulla:

• Was born in Warsaw Poland.
• Has lived in Portugal for 10 years.
• Is VERY VERY SINGLE (seemed to want to labour this point …).
• Does not have a Swedish girlfriend.
• Speaks English, Portuguese and Polish.
• And is definitely not sharing her most embarrassing moment with the hash (shame).

No name Dan Fillion was named.  Dan is in the US Navy, lived in Japan for 9 years and has climbed Mount Fuji 3 times, is a Black Hawk pilot and his US Navy handle is Cutter, as he had a reputation on board ship for ‘cutting the cheese’—look it up in Urban Dictionary —after runs ashore.  Suggestions for suitable hash handles included SBD (silent but deadly) after his Cutter handle, Mohammed (not too sure where that came from), Silent Cyclic (because of being a helo pilot), Lady Boy (for being named on the Red Dress Hash), Geisha Mounter, Turning Japanese (look it up in Urban Dictionary), but then Pussy Galore, who is usually very polite and correct, suggested F*cking Kamikaze, which was immediately accepted amongst much mirth.  So Dan will now be known in the hash by his handle FK.

Finally, we had the traditional vote for best dressed Red Dress Hash man, won this year by Immaculate Misconception who gave a tearful acceptance speech; worst dressed man, Mismatch, who wore the ‘sleeve of shame’ for his down down; and finally best dressed lady won by Ba Ba Boom, who also wore the sleeve of shame for her down down since she had already been given one a down down for the misdemeanour of looking too sexy.  Also, Depth Charge managed to forget to bring the traditional ‘sexy purse’ prize for the best dressed man 2012 so was awarded a down down; Immaculate Misconception will be presented with this stunning, prestigious award at the next hash, if Depth Charge manages to remember.

Next LH3 hash is 717 on Saturday 26 May 2012 with your hares for the day being Maple Stroker and Loo Seeker.

It was challenging trail set by hares, F2RB and Ba Ba Boom, An epic 16k for the Rambos and an arduous 9k for the Wimps, covering the Murches & Janes countryside.  Hoochie Coochie Man was acting Hash Master as K2 is currently in the states and Mismatch stood in as Religious Advisor.

Two no names, Dan Fillion and Luca Gerstenmayer and 4 namings; Loopysaurus for Michael Halkon, Loopy Lady Bug for Sofia Halkon, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious for retired speech therapist Mary Ann Morris and Pencil Sharpener for Elaine Gerstenmayer, wife of Pencil Squeezer.

The sun shone warmly on us during the Hash but clouds and heavy rain meant the circle was cut short before misdemeanours could be cited. However, we successfully manage to celebrate the following birthdays: Baron Von Jockstrap (100) Flatpack (60) Blooming Good (160) Easy Goa (70), Fast Finnish (22), Honky Tonk Woman (75), Immaculate Misconception (30), Just Coming (22) Loo Seeker (10) Loopy (33) and Neeps (90)

Hares for the next Hash are Depth Charge, Easy Loser & Father Haggis (May 12^th) Loo Seeker is Hare for May 26^th but we need another volunteer to help, and Maple Stroker and Fast Finnish are haring the AGPU Hash June 9^th

As quoted on the hash; “Dangleberry we will never forget you, you will always be in our hearts and in our livers!”

Honky Tonk Woman

Virgins on this Hash were as follows (apologies for butchered names):  Glenn Finnigan (friend of Lethal Weapon), Silvia Ceausu (apparently related to Vlad the Impaler).

Retornados were:  Boomerang, Maple Stroker, Karl Nickel, MissDirected, and Mismatch.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Baron Von Jockstrap (100) (left before Circle due to Pepsi’s injuries; will be recognized later); Boomerang (260); Lethal Weapon (10); Maple Stroker (50); Father Haggis (105); K2 (75); Mile High (25).

No Names:

Mary Ann Morris – Semi-retired American teacher living in Lisboa with her husband; from LA; previously Hashed in Korea earning the name 10K; one of the first women to run a marathon in Korea; retired speech therapist; has a twin sister.

Namings:

Conrad Pena da Costa – son of Fast Finnish and Finnish Eater.  Likes to swim; supports Sporting; girlfriend’s name is Charlotte; attends St. Dominick’s; speaks three languages; likes the movie Cars 2.  Now known as Foxy Finn Mac Missile (F2M2).

Bo Beijer-Olson – I’m actually confused now as to his heritage, as he claims to be Swedish, but was wearing a Colombian t-shirt.  May or may not have been involved in directing Swedish porn films on a beach somewhere.  Likes to sail and wears Swedish lederhosen.  We considered numerous names, many of them tasteless, before settling on Sextanto.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

-          Boomerang – for being the Hare, a Retornado, and having a Hashy Birthday, all on the same day

-          Mismatch – new shoes

-          F2RB, Bondage, Harry Poppins, Finding Nemo – arriving late.  Although, credit should be given to F2RB and Finding Nemo for finishing at or near the head of the Rambos.

-          Harry Poppins – for having a backgammon fetish

-          Mile High – for indecent exposure

-          K2 – for short-cutting.  When I didn’t.  But I drank the beer.  Because I like beer.  Free beer.

 Upcoming Hares: 

28 April – Ba Ba Boom! and F2RB

12 May – Red Dress – Live Hash – Depth Charge, Easy Loser, Father Haggis

26 May – Loo Seeker and EXPERIENCED RAMBO NEEDED

9 June – AGPU/Blazing Saddles – Maple Stroker, Fast Finnish

23 June – Summer Solstice – Live Hash – Hares Needed

See Hare Raiser Hoochy Coochy Man to volunteer

 Haberdashery – Hash mugs are one euro each; please bring them to each Hash.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming events:

12 May – Red Dress Hash.  Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais.  Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.
 
9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc.  We’ll have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo designed by Ba Ba Boom! (for which she will receive a free shirt!)

23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast.  Location to be determined by voting (please vote via email or Facebook by 17.00 on 17 April).

NOTE:  This is my last Hash for a while; I hope to be back sometime in June.  Meanwhile, our assistant HMs (Depth Charge, Hoochy Coochy Man, and Father Haggis) will fill in.

 K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were Birgit Hollmann, Nina Wiesenhomeier (Virgin Pimp, for having brough Virgins to her first Hash), Anke Kessler, Federico Kessler, Colleen Lucken, Müge Cağaloğlu,  Rudolfo Ribeira, and Renee Codsi.  Apologies if I butchered names.

Retornados were numerous:  Carla Mangas, Blooming Good, Easy Goa, Flipper, Luca Gerstenmeyer; Allie, Christophe, and Joran Stockdale; Zara Zino; Finding Nemo.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Ba Ba Boom (25); Basil ‘5 Star’ Fawlty (35); Graphic Exposure (25); Bad Hare Day (175); Easy Loser (30); Gazelle (65); Ice Pyck (66); Pussy Galore (10).  Terrestrial birthday for F2RB (30).

There were two No Names:

Elaine Gerstenmeyer – Brazilian; married to Beer Meister Pencil Squeezer; like cooking; likes modeling; likes Austrians

Bo Beijer-Olsen – Is Swedish! May or may not have directed Swedish porn films.  Likes to ski, cycle, and sail (not all at the same time or in the same event).  Once woke up on a beach (no mention as to whether Swedish porn was involved in this).

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

• Depth Charge – for using terrestrial names
• K2 – for asking inappropriate questions of the No Names (apparently they weren’t sufficiently sexual in nature)
• Stockdale Family; Beer Meister Pencil Squeezer; Ba Ba Boom!, and others – for short-cutting
• BM Pencil Squeezer and his wife Elaine Gerstenmeyer – for being too good to be true
• Ba Ba Boom! and virgin Birgit – for fertilizing the forest
• Finding Nemo and Renee Codsi – for getting lost and not finding Nemo
• No Name Rudolfo Ribeiro – for phone abuse

 Following the Hash, about 50 of us enjoyed the On On Dinner (some more than others) in Cascais.  In addition to all the usual and inane drinking and eating and singing (including a song introduced by Depth Charge, and the normal Father Abraham by Oval), we recognized a few Hashers for lengthy Hashing:

• Not Tonight – 100 Hashes – pewter mug
• Father Haggis – 100 Hashes – pewter mug
• No Moor – 400 hashes – personalized t-shirt (thanks to Ba Ba Boom!) and pewter quaiche (Scottish drinking bowl)

 Upcoming Hares: 

14 April – Boomerang and Bardess

28 April – Ba Ba Boom! and F2RB

12 May – Red Dress – Live Hash – Depth Charge, Easy Loser, Father Haggis

26 May – Loo Seeker and EXPERIENCED RAMBO NEEDED

9 June – AGPU/Blazing Saddles – Hares Needed

23 June – Summer Solstice – Live Hash – Hares Needed

 Hash mugs, water bottles, t-shirts, etc.:  Mugs are one euro each.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   We will be selecting our logo for the 25^th Anniversary Polo Shirts at the 3 March Hash.

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming events:

12 May – Red Dress Hash. Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais. Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.

9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc. We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.

23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were as follows (apologies for butchered names):  Caroline Vasconcelos, Don Ross, Andrew Bow, Roden Ashley, Leonardo (not sure of surname), Sally (also not sure of surname).

Retornados were numerous:  Basil Fawlty, Finnish Eater, Firefarter, Lust In Lycra, Party Pants, Pussy Galore, Elaine Gerstenmayer, Conrad Pena da Costa, and Harry Poppins (late arrival).

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Baron Von Jockstrap (99) (left before Circle; will be celebrated at his next Hash, along with 100); Captain America (11); Fast Finnish (20); Ice Pyck (65); Tatties (90).

No Names:

Helena Wallentin – Swedish/American attorney; married to a Finn; runs marathons; plays piano.

Conrad Pena da Costa – son of Fast Finnish and Finnish Eater.  Likes to swim; supports Sporting; girlfriend’s name is Charlotte; attends St. Dominick’s; speaks three languages; likes the movie Cars 2.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

-          Hoochy Coochy Man – telling off the Hare

-          Six Inch Rider – getting lost.  As the Hare.

-          Easy Loser – for schadenfreude

-          Party Pants – for not being able to control her feet

-          Lethal Weapon – for sweeping the wrong trail

-          Firefarter – for smoking in the circle

-          Pencil Squeezer – for serving stolen whiskey

-          Cherry Popper (visitor) – harsh remark.  He will fit right in.

-          Lust In Lycra – cell phone use

-          Finnish Eater – forgetting his child

-          Flat Pack – cell phone use

-          Father Haggis – for dressing as a Smurf on St. Patrick’s Day

 St. Patrick’s Day contest – While just about everybody was wearing green (some more than others) we had to choose winners.  Therefore, nearly unanimous winner for the Wimps was Ice Pyck, who apparently reminded some of a wee leprechaun, complete with a bag o’gold (lemons).  Nearly unanimous winner for the Rambos was Fast Finnish; not only was she wearing green, but she’d also ensured her husband and son were wearing green, as was their dog.

Upcoming Hares: 

See Hare Raiser Hoochy Coochy Man

 Haberdashery – Hash mugs are one euro each; please bring them to each Hash.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   See the LH3 Facebook page for potential designs for our 25^th Anniversary Hash; they will also be displayed at our next Hash

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming events:

31 March – On On Dinner – all 50 seats reserved and paid.  20.00 at Restaurante Caravela in Cascais (about 50 meters from O’Neill’s pub).  NOTE:  we will be collecting a donation to recognize the service.
 
12 May – Red Dress Hash.  Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais.  Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.
 
9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc.  We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.
 
23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were Patricia Ventura, Minna Levanen, Mari Varho, Sveva, and Mark Russell.  Apologies if I butchered names.

Retornados were numerous:  Bad Hare Day, The Navigator, Fast Finnish, Capacabuba, Gazelle, Gerald Newth, Crunchy, Harry Poppins, Baron Von Jock Strap, Depth Charge, Honky Tonk Woman, Hoochy Coochy Man, Maple Stroker, Nitrous Oxide, No Hair Day, Not In Charge, Not Tonight, Oval, Pencil Squeezer, Robogasm, Dan Fillion, Ulli Mayer, Sven Tollin, Christoph Trotzka, Hannes Trotzka, Helen Wallentin, and Tin Tin Bader. Apologies if I butchered names.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Captain America (10); No Moor (400); Not In Charge (165); Pencil Squeezer (15; This Won’t Hurt (90).

There was one No Name:

Hannes Trotzka – German but born in Barcelona; family from northern Germany but supports Bayern-Munchen football club; has two girlfriends.

Naming:

Ginny Stockdale – English; living in Portugal since 2008; lived in Stuttgart; she is not sure if there are any porn videos of her on the internet; might have one unreleased porn video; was referred to as a female nerd (she works with business application software); has many embarrassing stories, including one of her running up and down the halls of a hotel naked after getting up to go to the bathroom and locking herself out of her room, she finally found a sheet and persuaded the desk clerk to let her back in her room.  Support Leeds Football Club; has been told she has beautiful eyes; has a farm in northern Portugal.  Numerous names were considered, but Lady Godiva already having been assigned, we decided to name her Loo Seeker.

Tin Tin Bader – greatest embarrassment is his father (Crunchy); likes numbers; likes rugby.  Numerous options were considered, to include Nit Nit, Lata Lata, and Number Crunchy, before we finally settled on ScrumPi.

Reminder – if you don’t like your Hash name, please advise Hash Master (me); you can apply to have your name changed after a minimum of six months with your current name.  There are penalties involved.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

• Hoochy Coochy Man – for budgie smuggling
• Crunchy – for not controlling his bitches
• No Moor & Lord Egg – for short-cutting
• All Rambos – for short-cutting and/or long-cutting and/or running like rabbits

 Upcoming Hares: 

17 March – Six Inch Rider, Lethal Weapon, K2

31 March – Depth Charge, NN Dan Fillion

14 April – Bardess, Boomerang

 Hash mugs, water bottles, t-shirts, etc.:  Mugs are one euro each.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   We will be selecting our logo for the 25^th Anniversary Polo Shirts at the 3 March Hash.

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming events:

17 March – St Patrick’s Hash – Hashers encouraged to wear green or dye their hair green or paint their skin green or all of the above.  Hashers not wearing green clothing (exterior garment), green hair, or green face paint subject to a Down Down.  Just painting your fingernails green is not sufficient, although highly encouraged

31 March – On On Dinner.  All 50 spaces currently spoken for.

12 May – Red Dress Hash. Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais. Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.

9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc. We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.

23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were Urszula Godlewska and her daughter Nika; and Elizabeth Dowler.  Apologies if I butchered names.

Retornados were numerous:  Boomerang, Confuzeus, Bondage, Graphic Exposure, Lethal Weapon, Lord Egg, Immaculate Misconception, No Moor, Voldemort, Bo Beijer-Olsen, and Eleanor Horton.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Ba Ba Boom (22); F2RB (25); Mile High (22); and Confuzeus (69 & 70).

There was one No Name:

Ginny Stockdale – English; living in Portugal since 2008; lived in Stuttgart; she is not sure if there are any porn videos of her on the internet; might have one unreleased porn video; was referred to as a female nerd (she works with business application software); has many embarrassing stories, including one of her running up and down the halls of a hotel, before finally finding a sheet and persuading the desk clerk to let her back in her room (she’d apparently locked herself out of her room).

Naming:

Stephanie Heath  – teacher at St. Julian’s; likes to surf, but does not surf porn; from Worstersure, Woostershire, Wustersirshire, England; she likes to read books; does not yet have a Swedish boyfriend.  We considered numerous possibilities related to surfing and books.  Book Surfer was the runner-up, but we settled on Saucy Surfer, as she had been employed making some kind of sauce while in England.

Reminder – if you don’t like your Hash name, please advise Hash Master (me); you can apply to have your name changed after a minimum of six months with your current name.  There are penalties involved.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

• Graphic Exposure – for getting lost, and being the slowest Hasher ever
• Neeps, Tatties, Ice Pyck – for not participating in the Naming Ceremony
• No Moor – for hands in not-pockets

 Upcoming Hares: 

3 March – Father Haggis & Lust In Lycra

17 March – Six Inch Rider, Lethal Weapon, K2

31 March – Depth Charge, Maple Stroker, Mile High?

 Hash mugs, water bottles, t-shirts, etc.:  Mugs are one euro each.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   We will be selecting our logo for the 25^th Anniversary Polo Shirts at the 3 March Hash.

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming events:

17 March – St Patrick’s Hash – Hashers encouraged to wear green or dye their hair green or paint their skin green or all of the above.  Hashers not wearing green clothing (exterior garment), green hair, or green face paint subject to a Down Down.  Just painting your fingernails green is not sufficient!

31 March – On On Dinner.  All spaces currently spoken for; I will contact the restaurant to see if we can get a few more seats; Contact me if you are interested.

12 May – Red Dress Hash. Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais. Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.

9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc. We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.

23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

There were no Virgins or Retornados on this Hash as this was the Recovery Hash.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Basil Fawlty (33); Father Haggis (101); Flat Pack (55); K2 (70); Mismatch (161); Neeps (85); Picanha (60); Savuzela (10); Tatties (88); This Won’t Hurt (88). Nothrax (Algarve H3) celebrated an earthly birthday, and subsequently endured a down-down for having worn a hat in the Circle.

No Names:

Stephanie Heath – not Swedish; had a Swedish boyfriend; ambiguous about whether she would like another Swedish boyfriend; she teaches at St. Julians and likes to drink (no comment on whether the two are connected); she likes to surf and read (although very rarely at the same time), and is interested in GNR officers.

Namings:

Ian Gerstenmayer (son of Pencil Squeezer) – not Swedish and plays no musical instruments; likes football and swimming.  Attends the German school in Estoril.  Likes to sing.  Has a girlfriend named Kara.  Wants to study Marine Biology.  The name came quickly, and was virtually unanimous:  Flipper.

Basil Fawlty – does not live up to his Hash Name, for he has proven that he can actually run a hotel.  Therefore, he may now (purely optional) be referred to as Basil “Five Star” Fawlty.

Reminder – if you don’t like your Hash name, please advise Hash Master (me); you can apply to have your name changed after a minimum of six months with your current name.  There are penalties involved.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

-          Nitrous Oxide – use of terrestrial names

-          Nitrous Oxide, Father Haggis, Picanha, Six Inch Rider, Anthrax, Nothrax – short-cutting

-          Tatties – for going to bed too early

-          Six Inch Rider – for wearing white running trousers over dark knickers

-          No Name Miguel Moreno – for wearing bright colors on a Recovery Hash

-          Mismatch – for not having mentioned the need for a bus for at least 30 minutes (HM apologies – this misdemeanor was neglected during the circle)

-          Pussy Galore – for electrocuting herself (HM apologies – this misdemeanor was neglected during the circle)

-          K2 – for mistaking NN Stephanie Heath for Ba Ba Boom!; for running into people and leaving them all sweaty; and for unlawful hip thrusting

 Upcoming Hares: 

18 February – Boomerang and Confuzeus

3 March – Lust In Lycra and Father Haggis

17 March – Six Inch Rider and __________

31 March – Hares needed – see Hare Raiser Hoochy Coochy Man

 Haberdashery – Hash mugs are one euro each; please bring them to each Hash.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   See the LH3 Facebook page for potential designs for our 25^th Anniversary Hash; they will also be displayed at our next Hash

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming fancy dress/costume events:  if you’ve read this far and are interested, please contact me via email, Facebook, or in person with your suggestions.  Possibilities:  Carnival; St. Patrick’s Day; Elvis’ birthday; the Muppets; many more.  In your suggestion, please indicate on which Hash we should organize your fancy dress event.

Upcoming events:

17 March – St Patrick’s Hash – Hashers encouraged to wear green or dye their hair green or paint their skin green or all of the above
 
31 March – On On Dinner – more details to follow.  NOTE:  date subject to change
 
12 May – Red Dress Hash.  Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais.  Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.
 
9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc.  We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.
 
23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were as follows (apologies for butchered names):  Mandy Azevedo-Coutinho; Adrian Reynolds; Luis Cequeira; Armerio Barbara; Rita Esteves; Marta Rogado; Gabriela Corvo; Ricardo Tamquiera; Miguel Moreno.

Retornados were numerous:  Basil Fawlty, Elle T-Shirt, Good Vibrations, Savuzela, Wanderstock, Joaquim Duarte, and Ana Cequira.  Wanderstock received a down-down for wearing sunglasses in the circle.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Good Vibrations (11); Father Haggis (100); Nitrous Oxide (11); Pencil Squeezer (11); Mismatch (160).  Good Vibrations received a down-down for not having given herself enough beverage to drink in the circle.

Namings:

Monica Piercy  – not Swedish, she likes shoes, she likes high-heel shoes (6” spikes) specifically, she likes to dance, she is planning to rider her bicycle across southern Europe to raise funds for charity, and she is of Polish extraction.  Given all of these facts, we explored numerous opportunities.  The obvious choice was Pole Dancer, but also considered were Six Incher, Six Inch Peddler, Hot Heels, Six Inch Rhythm, and Rhythm Cycle.  We finally settled on Six Inch Rider.

Jennie Cottam – likewise not Swedish, she is from Manchester, and she likes singing and dirty dancing.  She also lived in Japan for a time.  We considered numerous possibilities, to include The Body, Goes All Night, Rewind, Tequila Night, Petite Ingles, and Vibrant Body, before finally going with Lust In Lycra.

Reminder – if you don’t like your Hash name, please advise Hash Master (me); you can apply to have your name changed after a minimum of six months with your current name.  There are penalties involved.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

-          Tatties and Mismatch – short-cutting

-          Anthrax (Algarve Hash) – taking things too seriously

-          Lust In Lycra – for getting wounded

-          Ricardo Tamanguiera – for being too cute

-          Ice Pyck – for wearing a fur hat

-          F2RB – for peeing in the bushes

-          Ba Ba Boom! – for suggesting that F2RB could pee on Lust In Lycra’s wounds for healing

 Upcoming Hares: 

18 February – Boomerang and Confuzeus

3 March – Lust In Lycra and Father Haggis

17 March – Six Inch Rider and __________

31 March – Hares needed – see Hare Raiser Hoochy Coochy Man

 Haberdashery – Hash mugs are one euro each; please bring them to each Hash.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.   See the LH3 Facebook page for potential designs for our 25^th Anniversary Hash; they will also be displayed at our next Hash

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming fancy dress/costume events:  if you’ve read this far and are interested, please contact me via email, Facebook, or in person with your suggestions.  Possibilities:  Carnival; St. Patrick’s Day; Elvis’ birthday; the Muppets; many more.  In your suggestion, please indicate on which Hash we should organize your fancy dress event.

Upcoming events:

17 March – St Patrick’s Hash – Hashers encouraged to wear green or dye their hair green or paint their skin green or all of the above
 
31 March – On On Dinner – more details to follow.  NOTE:  date subject to change
 
12 May – Red Dress Hash.  Men – this is your opportunity to express your feminine side and wear a red dress as we run the streets of Cascais.  Men not wearing red dresses will be given a Down-Down.
 
9 June – 25th Anniversary Hash (LH3 was founded 4 June 1987) / Blazing Saddles Hash / AGPU – more details to follow – LH3 will provide meat and beverages, Hashers will be asked to bring desserts, salads, side dishes, etc.  We’ll be seeking to have a special polo shirt produced to recognize this momentous occasion; logo design contest: logos must be based on the basic LH3 logo.
 
23 June – Summer Solstice Hash – anticipate On On to be approximately 06.00ish followed by breakfast

K2

Hash Master and Scribe

Virgins on this Hash were numerous, to include many of the Marines and Sailors, Ammi Person, Bo Beijer-Olsen, Emma Nilsson, Eleanor Horton, and Kate Dennis.

Retornados were numerous:  Sven Tollin, Just Coming, No Moor, Captain America, Nearly There, Elaine Gerstenmeyer, Easy Goa, Never Ready, Luca Gerstenmeyer, Flying Mum, Nitrous Oxide, Ulli Meyer, Dieuwke Schweitzer, Willem Trotske, and Hannes Trotske.

Hashy Birthdays were celebrated for Dangle Berry (30); Easy Loser (25; must be an error, as she just celebrated 20 last Hash); F2RB (22); Hoochy Coochy Man (70); Nearly There (25); Nitrous Oxide (10); Wanna Bet (252).

There were several No Names:

Ian Gerstenmayer (son of Pencil Squeezer) – not Swedish and plays no musical instruments; likes football and swimming.

Erika Vlug – I didn’t write anything down – apologies.

Yara Buschle (daughter of Capacabuba) – I didn’t write anything down – apologies.

Namings:

Limor Schweitzer  – has embarrassing knees, is always drunk, works on robots, is Israeli, denies having worked for Mossad.  Admits to having translated for a film starring Cicciolina.  Our minds starting to freeze up after much inactivity, we considered several names, including Inspector Gadget, before settling on Robogasm.

Reminder – if you don’t like your Hash name, please advise Hash Master (me); you can apply to have your name changed after a minimum of six months with your current name.  There are penalties involved.

Misdemeanors were adjudicated against the following:

I didn’t write any of them down, as I was shocked and dismayed to find myself in the Circle, for allegedly having short-cutted.  Or short the cut.  Or cut the short.  What is the past tense of ‘short cut’?

-          I do remember, however, that F2RB spent some time in the circle for having abused alcohol

 Upcoming Hares: 

4 & 5 February – Away Hash – K2, TWH, Monica Piercy, Ba Ba Boom!, Easy Loser – more wanted

18 February – I don’t remember

 707 Hash Costume Contest – Many apologies for the mismanagement of this event.  Perhaps I can plead being tired and worn out, or losing my memory, or I don’t know what else.  Anyhow, winners of the contest for the Wimps:  Pencil Squeezer; Rambos:  Easy Loser.

 Away Hash – we are now up to about 25 rooms.  There is no coach.  All Hashers are individually responsible to the hotel for all debts incurred; I will not collect any cash.  Reminder – 50 euro per room per night, half board.  Sign up ASAP.

 Hash Mugs – have still arrived.  If you attended the On On Dinner, the mugs are free.  If you did not attend the dinner, mugs are one euro each.  Hashers will then need to bring their own mugs to the hash – cups will only be provided for virgins!  All Hashers will be heavily encouraged to buy their own mugs and bring them to each Hash.  If you have a Hash Handle, and are called into the Circle, and are found to be without your mug, things will get messy.

We have received our new Hash water bottles and Hash T-shirts.  T-shirts are 6 euro each; bottles are 5 euro each; purchase one of each for 10 euro.

Hashers are encouraged to bring and reuse their own plastic bottles – can be refilled from larger bottles of water provided by Beer Meisters.

Upcoming fancy dress/costume events:  if you’ve read this far and are interested, please contact me via email, Facebook, or in person with your suggestions.  Possibilities:  Carnival; St. Patrick’s Day; Elvis’ birthday; the Muppets; many more.  In your suggestion, please indicate on which Hash we should organize your fancy dress event.

K2

Hash Master and Scribe